How do you calm down a dish that's too spicy?

It happens to everyone. A chilli that looked mild was not. A spoon of chilli flakes was heaped. The pot is now a dare. You can't take chilli out, but you can make it share the stage, and there are reliable ways to do that.

Why water doesn't help

The heat in chillies comes mainly from capsaicin. Wikipedia's capsaicin entry lists it as only very slightly soluble in water and notes that plain water is ineffective at removing it in most situations. The same entry notes that cold milk may help relieve the burning, thanks to the caseins in milk. That is the logic behind most of the fixes below: dilute, coat and distract.

1. Add more of everything else

The most reliable fix is dilution. Make the dish bigger without adding more chilli:

• Sauces and stews: more tomatoes, beans, lentils, vegetables or stock.
• Soups: more stock and vegetables, or a potato cooked in and blended.
• Curries: more vegetables, more coconut milk or more tomatoes.
• Chilli oil or dressings: more oil or more of the base.

Then season again, because you have diluted the salt too. Freeze the extra.

2. Dairy and fat

Creamy, fatty ingredients round off heat in the mouth.

• Yoghurt, crème fraîche or sour cream, stirred in off the heat or served on top.
• Cream or coconut milk in sauces and curries.
• Butter stirred into a tomato sauce.
• Cheese: grated Parmesan, ricotta or mozzarella on pasta and bakes.
• Nut butters or tahini in sauces and dressings.
• Avocado on the side of anything spicy.

3. A little sweetness

Sweetness balances heat. Add a little at a time and taste:

• A pinch of sugar or a drizzle of honey.
• Grated carrot or cooked onion, which sweeten as they cook.
• Sweet vegetables: squash, sweet potato, roasted peppers.
• A spoonful of tomato concentrate in tomato dishes.

4. Acid for balance

A squeeze of lemon or lime or a splash of vinegar doesn't remove heat, but it can make a fiery dish taste brighter and more balanced, so the heat is less dominant. Use it alongside the fixes above, not instead of them.

5. Serve it smartly

When the dish is still fierce, change how it is eaten:

• Plenty of starch alongside: rice, bread, potatoes, polenta or plain pasta.
• Cool toppings: yoghurt, sliced cucumber, fresh herbs, avocado.
• Make it a component: a too-spicy sauce becomes a condiment spooned sparingly over plainer food.

Dish by dish

• Tomato pasta sauce: more tomatoes, a knob of butter, then plenty of grated cheese on the plate.
• Bean or lentil stew: another tin of beans or lentils, a splash of stock, yoghurt on top.
• Curry: coconut milk or yoghurt and more vegetables, with rice alongside.
• Soup: more stock and a potato cooked in, then blended.

At the table

If your mouth is on fire, reach for milk, a spoonful of yoghurt, a piece of bread or a bite of rice. Gulping water feels instinctive but, as above, it does little to the capsaicin.

Next time

Add chilli gradually and taste as you go; in our kitchen, heat seems to grow as a dish sits. Many cooks also scrape out the seeds and pale membranes of fresh chillies to keep things gentler. More on adding heat with control in chilli heat without overpowering a dish.