# How do you get better at waiting? Canonical: https://zestasy.com/wiki/getting-better-at-waiting/ Section: Zestasy Wiki > Mindset · Updated: 2026-10-14 · Publisher: Zestasy *Zestasy Wiki: our reference answers. Checked for facts and sources; less curated than the magazine.* Get better at waiting by treating it as time you've been handed rather than time you've lost, and by always having something ready to fill it: a book, a list, a walk, a conversation. For slow results, separate the part you control from the part you're waiting on, and keep busy with the first. Patience is less a virtue you're born with than a set of habits. Waiting comes in three sizes. There's the short kind: queues, late trains, doctors' waiting rooms, the pasta water that refuses to boil. There's the medium kind: waiting for a reply, a decision, a delivery. And there's the long kind: waiting for something you're working on to show results. They feel different, but the same small set of habits helps with all of them. ## Change what the time is Most of the irritation in waiting comes from seeing it as stolen. You had plans for that twenty minutes, and the delay took it. Try the opposite framing: the twenty minutes have been given to you, with nothing expected. You can't do the thing you were going to do, so you're free to do something else. This isn't just a mind game. It changes what you notice. Stolen time makes you watch the clock. Given time makes you look around. ## Always have something ready The single most practical habit is carrying something that turns waiting into using: - **A book.** A short novel or a book of essays that can be read in small pieces. Our page on [short novels for a weekend](https://zestasy.com/wiki/short-novels-for-a-weekend/) has some ideas that also suit waiting rooms. - **A small list.** Things to think about, plan or decide. Queues are good for planning dinner or the weekend. - **A notebook.** For ideas, letters you mean to write, drawings of the people around you. - **Something to learn.** A few phrases of a language, a podcast you've been saving. Phones are the obvious option, and they're fine sometimes. But in our experience scrolling makes a wait feel longer and leaves you more restless. Choose something else first. Our page on [using your phone less](https://zestasy.com/wiki/using-your-phone-less/) has easy swaps. ## Or do nothing, properly Sometimes the best use of waiting is no use at all. Look out of the window. Watch the station. Let your mind wander. There's a pleasant kind of idleness in being somewhere with nothing to do, and waiting is one of the few times modern life hands it to us without asking. ## For medium waits: let go of checking When you're waiting for a reply or a decision, the urge is to check constantly. It doesn't make the answer come faster, and it keeps the worry at the front of your mind. Instead: - **Decide when you'll next check.** Tomorrow morning, or Friday. Not every ten minutes. - **Decide what you'll do if the answer is yes, and if it's no.** Having both plans ready drains a lot of the tension. - **Get busy with something unrelated.** The best distraction is absorbing: cooking, a walk, a game, a friend. ## For long waits: work on what you control When you're waiting for results, from training, learning, a project or a garden, the waiting is mostly out of your hands. What you can control is the daily effort. So focus there. Turn up, do the work, keep a simple log of what you did. The results arrive on their own schedule; the log shows you that something is happening in the meantime. Our page on [keeping going when progress is invisible](https://zestasy.com/mindset/when-progress-is-invisible/) goes deeper. ## Practise on small waits Patience grows with use. Use the small waits as practice for the big ones. Stand in the slower queue on purpose. Let the kettle boil without leaving the kitchen. Wait for the green man at the crossing on an empty street. Each one is a small exercise in staying calm when things are not moving at your speed. ## FAQ ### Why does waiting feel longer when you're impatient? When you're focused on the clock, there's nothing else to fill your attention, so time feels stretched. Giving your mind something to do, or something to look at, tends to make the same wait feel shorter. ### How do you wait calmly for important news? Plan both outcomes, decide when you'll check, and then keep busy with something you enjoy. Telling a friend what you're waiting for also helps; it's easier to carry with company. ### Is impatience always bad? Not always. Impatience with an unfair process or a slow repair can be useful energy for doing something about it. The trick is to put it into action where action is possible, and to let it go where it isn't. ### How do you help children with waiting? Give them something to do: a game of spotting things, a small notebook, a story. And let them see you waiting calmly. Patience is easier to learn by example. ## Related - [How do you keep going when you can't see any progress?](https://zestasy.com/mindset/when-progress-is-invisible/) - [How do you get more comfortable with uncertainty?](https://zestasy.com/wiki/comfortable-with-uncertainty/) - [How do you make a long commute feel less wasted?](https://zestasy.com/wiki/long-commute/) - [How do you use your phone less without making it a big project?](https://zestasy.com/wiki/using-your-phone-less/) - [What are great short novels you can read in a weekend?](https://zestasy.com/wiki/short-novels-for-a-weekend/) - [All Mindset answers in the Wiki](https://zestasy.com/wiki/#mindset)